Sneak Peek! An excerpt from Lilac City Lunacy

Sneak Peek! An excerpt from Lilac City Lunacy

Hey everyone, if you’ve been looking forward to Volume 2 of the Luna Chronicles – Lilac City Lunacy, here’s a quick snippet to whet your appetite. An unedited scene with our favorite werewolf sheriff, Stan McKenna. Enjoy!

Spokane County Sheriff, Stan McKenna was having a bad week. A bad month if he were to be honest. The Lilac city, as Spokane was known, was inundated with hostility. Small fights had been breaking out more and more frequently. At first, Stan had chalked it up to increased gang activity and people working out the agitation of cabin fever after such a harsh winter. There was always a period between the winter chill and summer heat criminals took advantage of, but things had continued to happen.

            He realized something was truly messed up when he responded to what he thought was a prank call. There were a few on the force that might feel they owed him payback for bringing in donuts glazed with sour sugar and jalapeno dust. His fellow officer’s faces had both mottled and puckered while they cursed him out roundly. At the time he’d laughed so hard he thought he might have strained something, so he wouldn’t put it past his fellow officers to create a strange scenario just to mess with him. Unfortunately when he pulled up in front of his aunt Gena’s Sew Easy Too fabric shop, what he saw through the big front window was no joke.

            Four old women were facing off with each other. Two against two, all hollering at the top of their lungs while brandishing knitting needles. One of the ladies stepped forward and poked her opponent as Stan was getting out of his car. He moved faster when the poked woman’s eyes grew wild and her knitting hand turned the needle from a parrying position to a thrusting position. Good grief, she might just kill someone! The chimes above the doorway tinkled loudly as he entered. The sound distracted the women just long enough for him to place himself in the middle of the group. He unleashed a touch of Alpha charm hoping to diffuse the situation then put his hands up and spun in a small circle to smile at every one of them. His physical size forced them all to step back a bit. “Now, ladies. What’s going on here?”

            If he’d expected the torrent of clucking, spluttering, ferociousness that would spew from them he’d never have asked. At first, he couldn’t make out a word they were saying. After a moment he was sorry he could. He heard phrases drop from their sweet, grandmotherly lips that he hoped he’d never hear again. Betty White couldn’t do as well if she were fully drunk and witnessed someone beating their dog. There are just some things you can’t un-hear and Stan was wishing for a gallon of brain bleach when he finally caught onto a thread of the real problem. They were arguing over whose grandchildren were the smartest!

            He almost started laughing at how ridiculous it was, but as they continued arguing those knitting needles were again put into use. One of the ladies, a 4’9″ Latina with dyed brown hair in a loose bun, reached around him with her shiny red implement to prod another woman. He thought he heard one of them call the poker, Rosalinda, and the pokee, Agnes. Rosalinda was wearing a soft pink t-shirt and black shorts. Her target, Agnes, had short silvery hair and big coke bottle glasses. She was wearing a white, short-sleeved blouse and khaki slacks. She was also holding a long, olive green knitting needle low and at the ready.

            The other two women facing off looked like twins. Both stooped with age, they had short, curly, gray hair and baby blue eyes. One had a pair of glasses dangling from a chain, the other had them propped on top of her head. Both were wearing floral pattern cotton dresses topped by pale blue, loosely knit cardigans and both had short wooden knitting needles. From the cacophony of bickering, he plucked the names, Janet and Jess, before he’d finally had enough.

            Drawing himself to his full 6’5″ height, Stan quickly plucked the knitting needles away from each woman, put his hands on his hips and shouted. “SILENCE!”

            All four women turned their eyes upon him and if he hadn’t been such a big man, or a Sheriff, or a Guardian, Stan might have run away. Instead, he cleared his throat and with all the authority he could muster he tried to reason with them. “Ladies. . .

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#BlogBattle – Shift

So this month’s Blog Battle word prompt is “shift” and if you’ve been following me for any length of time you KNOW I had to respond to this. 😉 Here is my 1,000 word (+ or -) entry. Enjoy.

Artist unknown but appreciated.

June 10, 2018

This is my first entry in what Walt’s been calling the Luna Chronicles. It’s basically a glorified personal journal, except it’s supposed to help other Luna’s – eventually. To anyone reading this, please understand that I am no Shakespeare. I’m just doing my best. So here goes.

Becoming a Guardian has been tough but rewarding. I never realized just how much there is to learn OR that I’d have to journal about it! I mean really, who knew visual tracking, botany, and martial arts would be needed? I’m already a werewolf. Everything should come instinctively, right? Wrong.

Granted, I’ve enjoyed the martial arts. It’s something I never thought I’d be able to do considering how sick I was before my first shift. Lupus had put me down hard. It didn’t just limit my movement due to pain, it shrunk my world by interfering with my social and family life. I was always afraid to go too far from home in case I suddenly ran out of steam, or hurt myself in some new and stupid way. Queen of the klutzy, I am, but it was SO much worse with chronic illness issues. Thank God, Sherryl’s been really patient with me despite my klutziness. I can’t believe I nearly knocked her block off with that round house kick! I honestly didn’t think I could move that fast. Good thing we heal quickly.

Botany has been interesting and I’m really glad I’ll be able to identify and avoid poison ivy from now on. Yeah, tripping into that huge patch sucked. Of course that was during my tracking lesson with Stan, Alpha of the Eastern Washington Guardians. Despite his laughter, I’ll never be able to repay him for helping me up and out of that mess. His hands looked almost as horrible as my everything for two days, even with our accelerated healing ability. Ugh.

Shifting has come most easily to me. Ninety-nine percent of the time I stick the landing, so to speak, moving easily from human to wolf and back without issue. That pesky one percent though is a tad worrisome.

I only seem to have issues when I get too tired or emotional, like after that three day flu the kids went through. Of course my lucky husband, Hank, avoided it altogether since his boss just happened to schedule him to go to a conference on those days. I’m still not sure how I escaped getting it, but so glad I did! It was horrible. Poor Matt and Tammy. They must have each lost ten pounds the hard way. Thank God for Sherryl! I’m not sure I’d have been able to handle working, studying, and running between rooms for that long if she hadn’t been dropping off food for me and medicine for the kids.

You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to force myself to take in the currently required 12,000 calories a day while emptying barf buckets every hour or so. Ewww. Sorry, but this journal is supposedly for posterity and Walt told me not to leave ANYTHING out. So yeah, Walt, you asked for it.

Back to the one percent problem. Sorry about the bunny trail. Anyway, after those three days I was wiped out. So with the kids on the mend and finally able to keep food down I needed to get out for a bit. I called Jennifer and invited her out for a run. We’ve been spending more time together recently and I’m enjoying getting to know her. She’s a lovely person, smart, beautiful, hard working, and a talented painter, though she refuses to show her work outside of her home. She’s also single and looking. I can’t imagine how hard dating would be as a woman werewolf. How many guys can handle not just her success as a realtor, but her ability to outrun, outsmart, outplay them AND smell a lie? It has to be like the worst mash-up of Survivor and The Bachelorette ever!

Wow, I bunny trailed again. Sorry. So as I was saying, Jennifer and I were going running. I was exhausted but needed to stretch my legs before hitting the hay for the night. We drove her car and headed to the Bowl and Pitcher in Riverside State Park. There’s great trails around there and I hoped we could make a quick three mile loop. Making the Change from human to wolf was no problem. Running the darkened trail was no problem. Getting back to her car was no problem. The problem came when I tried to Change back.

I felt good after the run, but apparently hadn’t accurately gauged how low on energy I was. By the time Jennifer had Changed and gotten dressed, I still hadn’t been able to find my human form. Jennifer tried to help “push” me through but I was stuck.

I was a little wigged out but Jennifer remained calm. She called Walt who told me to just sleep in my wolf form and try again in the morning. He said he’d call back at 8:00 am to check on me. Jennifer proved herself amazing yet again when she drove me home, roused the kids to inform them of the situation, then helped me up to my room. She brought up a bowl of water and a tray of cold chicken she found in the fridge. I hate to say it but I quite literally wolfed down her offerings. Ten hours later I woke up human only to find she’d set the timer on my coffee maker as well.

I haven’t had any issues shifting since but now I know, burning the candle at both ends for too long can result in a seriously hairy situation. Yup, I said it. You’re welcome, Walt.

A very humble THANK YOU!

So my first novel, Waxing is Useless has been out for nearly 2 months now. It’s still somewhat surreal that it’s out there, but what’s even more surreal is the sweet, positive comments and reviews I’ve been getting!

To all out there who’ve taken the time to visit the Amazon site and leave a review,

You guys make me feel like this. . .

My mom the werewolf – #BlogBattle

This month’s #BlogBattle word was ‘Educate’. With that in mind, here’s another small installment on the Luna Chronicles’ Moon family. Enjoy 😉

Tammy watched as her mom loped out the back gate to join Walt. Pack historian and Beta of the Spokane Guardians, he greeted Miranda in the alley before they both disappeared into the moonless night. So much had changed since her mother had been diagnosed with Lupus and joined the pack Tammy wasn’t sure her brain could keep up.

A few months ago she’d been so angry about her mother’s poor health, blaming her for wrecking family outings by being too tired, using up family funds for, what she had thought at the time were, unnecessary doctor visits, and for not being there when Tammy needed her. The super reliable, highly motivated and organized mom she’d grown up with had slowly disappeared over the course of the last year. She’d given up her PTA duties, stopped teaching Sunday School at their parish, and didn’t make it to a single one of Tammy’s volleyball games. Mom said it was because taking on an office job after fifteen years as a stay-at-home parent was too much for her, but Tammy suspected it was due to all the extra weight mom had put on. She blamed it on the steroids, but Tammy had assumed it was because she ate too much and rarely got off the couch anymore.  Isn’t that what usually happens when people do that?

Tammy cut her mom a little slack when she injured herself. Mom was a total klutz, but the last accidental injury had been really bad. Miranda’s knee had given out and she fell face first onto the washing machine, breaking her nose and gaining a concussion. That had scared Tammy into considering the possibility that her mom really did suffer some illness, but it wasn’t until Dr. Reynolds diagnosis –  Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (or SLE) –  that Tammy really began to understand what it was her mom had been struggling with.

Dad had shared the pamphlets Dr. Reynolds gave him and asked both kids to read them. Matt read them over immediately (of course) but Tammy was still too angry. She’d thrown them aside and ignored them. They’d lain on the floor of her bedroom for weeks until something terrible and miraculous happened. Her brother was kidnapped and her mom came out of the closet – as a werewolf! It had been a harrowing night that, thankfully, ended well.

Now her mother was one of the Spokane Guardians. Mom’s friend and Mentor, Sherryl had explained that they weren’t like the movie werewolves. Silver did not bother them, the moon didn’t force their transformations, and they didn’t go nuts and kill people. Well, hardly ever. They were, according to Sherryl, a pack of werewolves created by an unknown saint, and charged with the protection of whatever community they happened to be a part of. Tammy thought that was pretty cool, but the best part as far as she was concerned was her mother’s new ability to eat anything and never gain an ounce! She sort of wished she could do that too, but didn’t really want to deal with all the follicular challenges mom now faced. Especially since that hilarious Nair incident.

Tammy chuckled as the memory filtered through her brain. She still needed to get copies of those pictures from Stan, the Alpha of the pack! Tammy’s smile dissolved into a sigh. Time to get back to the books Walt had lent her. There were three of them: Spokane Guardians – A Short History, Lupus: A Disease for Humans and Canines, and last but not least, So Your Family Member’s A Werewolf – A Guide To What Comes Next.  She wandered back to her bedroom, shut the door and started the playlist on her laptop. As Drake’s song God’s Plan filled her room Tammy cracked open the first book. “Time to get educated.”

Happy Howl-oween!

Hey everyone,

I hope you all have a Halloween fun enough to howl about! 

Tail wags & shoulder bumps to you all,

M.J. 

P.S. If you are looking for a good, clean Halloween read, check out my first novel in the Luna Chronicles, Waxing is Useless.  What happens when a middle age soccer mom faces adversity? She grows fur and a tail, of course! **Excerpt below. 

Miranda closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing, but the minute she shut them her other senses seemed to explode. Her heart raced, a bass accompaniment to a symphony of dripping water, crackling ice, a light breeze, and somewhere a few blocks away, tires on icy streets. She could feel every blade of mushy grass beneath her hands and feet. She felt the mud and the slight temperature fluctuations in the wind. Even the moonlight felt like waves of mist against her burning skin.

Lifting her face to the sky, she inhaled deeply. Scents she’d never recognized before sifted into her brain. She identified crocus shoots, compost, and weirdly, earthworms. She turned her face north into the wind. Someone was smoking marijuana in a nearby home. The Kollyers had apparently grilled chicken earlier. George burned it a bit. The chemical floral scent of someone’s dryer stuck in her throat, making her gag. She sneezed to clear her nose and continued to explore the scents of the neighborhood. Wood smoke from someone’s stove and beer and cigarettes from the bar four blocks away. She couldn’t believe what all she was sensing!

Miranda opened her eyes. She had spent so much time analyzing scents that the moon had slipped lower in the sky, and the temperature had dropped even further. She knew it was cold enough to become hypothermic but didn’t feel cold at all.

She focused on her surroundings. She could see everything so clearly! Details she’d never noticed during the day jumped out at her in the dark. Despite the strange new clarity of her eyesight, Miranda was finding it hard to think. Her brain felt foggy. She considered calling for help, but she couldn’t work up the energy to vocalize her need.

Fighting the urge to lay down in the now semi-frozen grass, she forced herself to stand, and swayed unsteadily for a moment before she turned toward the house. She’d taken two lurching steps when something metallic hit the cement floor inside the garage. Someone is in there!

Those magical words. . .

Alright folks, I finally got those magical words from Amazon in my email this morning.

Congratulations, the paperback edition of your book “Waxing Is Useless” is live in the Amazon Store.”

All I can say is WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Waxing+is+Useless

Fizzle or Sizzle, blogging is therapeutic.

Hello Gentlereaders, (yes I squashed those words together, leave hate comments below) I am posting this to let you know that I have not given up. Despite missing a post here and there recently, I’m still kicking this pig.

Explain

When I started this blog, I wasn’t certain which direction to take it in. I mean, I LOVE to write, but I couldn’t make an instant decision. Should I write book reviews? I certainly read enough, and I definitely have opinions about what I read. Should I review films? That idea was short-lived as I can’t afford to hit our new and improved theaters every day at $12.00 a pop + whatever insane amount they charge for a bottle of water. I still have kids living at home. Kids who enjoy eating occasionally. 😉

Dickens

So here I was, stewing over what I wanted to blog about when it hit me. My town is having somewhat of an Art renaissance right now, and I seem to be surrounded by both Artists and Authors. Aha! A stroke of genius, right? It’s a good thing I didn’t *facepalm* when that lightbulb lit over my head. I might still have scars. With my blog focus finally set, I gassed this vehicle up, took it for a spin, and enjoyed every minute of it. **There’s the SIZZLE!**

Recently though, someone (very kindly) told me that even though they enjoy TheSquidandSquirrel, they wonder why – as I’m also working on a novel and doing a bit of freelancing – I bother to blog at all. That question took me aback for a moment. I mean, I know why I like (LOVE) to write, but why saddle myself with a blog that requires monthly maintenance? I told them I’d have to get back to them on that one. After pondering for a bit, I’d like to finally answer that question. **I hope they read this!**

fingerscrossed

I write this blog because it helps me to be accountable to the blessings I’ve been handed. Unable to work the average full or part-time gig due to disability **That’s the FIZZLE**, this endeavor (despite missing a few posts) helps keep me moving. It keeps me focused on staying connected with people. It allows me to get out of my house, work at my own pace, and meet new and interesting people. People with incredible talent that needs to be shared with the world.

It also (hopefully) brightens somebodies day occasionally. Maybe lifts a spirit of someone out there – either by the gorgeous art, or by learning that they are not so unlike some of the amazing folks I’ve interviewed. At it’s heart it is a labor of love. Love of writing, love or art, love of books and authors and people in general.

Hugsloth

It is also a kind of social therapy for me. Many folks with chronic conditions like mine, tend to become social hermits. As their condition progresses, their world becomes smaller. I’ve seen it happen, and I refuse to go down without a fight. My blog and the people it allows me to meet, learn from, and befriend, helps me not to disappear beneath the lead blanket of health issues. It helps me to hone my skills as a writer, and as a person. It has helped broaden my mind, and open my heart. This little experiment of a blog, has been a complete blessing to me, and I hope at least a small one to you all.

That said, if you’ve read this far, congratulations on your tenacity. And thank you for sticking with me. I won’t go into the gory details of what’s derailed this month’s post, but suffice it to say I am back on the trail of yet another fun and interesting interview. So check back next month and thanks again!

Live long and prosper! (No, that isn’t a *hint*)

Livelongspock   MJ